The other day, I was at the bank in a queue awaiting my turn at the teller’s counter. Apparently, the ticket machine wasn’t working and hence, I joined the serpentine queue in front of the teller’s counter. My turn came up after 25 minutes of waiting and I stepped forward to handover a cheque I wanted to en-cash. Even before I could lift my arm to handover the cheque, a woman forced her way in and proceeded to handover a form she had filled-in, to the teller.

I looked at her enquiringly, suggesting that it was my turn, and she wasn’t even in the queue for God’s sake! She looked at me and uttered what she thought was “the golden rule”. “Ladies first, no?” she said. To be honest, I was already quite impatient at that time, having stood in the line for over 25 minutes. I shot back “No!” and proceeded to force my hand into the teller’s counter to handover my cheque. Job done and I prepared to leave the bank.

On my way back, I pondered over what had just happened and realised that even in this day and age, most women graciously accept or rather expect men to follow the traditional “ladies first” rule, whether it’s getting off a sinking ship or going through a ballroom doorway. Agreed that the rule is commonly perceived as a concession to the weaker gender by the stronger, but then it wasn’t supposed to be and isn’t a hard and fast rule anyway.

It is merely a courtesy call – if you felt that a certain scenario needed the use of this rule, for instance a sinking ship, even I would have followed this rule. But then, using the rule as the “ultimate” rule over and above existing rules such as following a queue, whether at the bank or at the bus / metro station, isn’t right. Of course, the “ladies first” rule is a good one to follow – for most men. As per my knowledge, there are very few exceptions to the “ladies first” rules and they result from circumstances requiring the man’s precedence in order to further the protection of this “charge.”

For instance: A woman precedes a man ascending or descending the stairs, except when it is dark or the stairway is dangerous. In such a scenario, a man precedes to guard a lady against tripping. Similarly, in entering a restaurant, the woman precedes when there is an attendant to take them to the table; otherwise, the man, in order to locate a table, goes first – directly followed by the lady. The woman goes first when leaving the restaurant. The same rule applies when entering and leaving a theatre.

Coming back to the lady at the bank, if she had politely asked me whether she could transact first, rather than reminding me of the “ladies first” rule, I would have let her go first. I am sure many of you reading this post would agree. If not, feel free to give me a shout through the comments section! :-)